Still Alive

The grubs have lasted yet another day. Maybe this was truly meant to be!

Every Grub Needs a Home

My daughter, Tyra, is such an interesting person. She loves taking the knowledge she learns at school and applying it to something practical and hands on.

About a month ago, she brought home a recently-shed snake skin from her science class. Last week, she was fascinated with rollie pollies. Yesterday, she wanted to do her part to save more of the earth's creatures.

By adopting 3 grubs.

Yes. My sweet girl rescued 3 grubs from the earth and brought them home from school. She had them packaged nicely in a ziploc bag with grass and dirt.

I think I am a pretty liberal parent. I am all about learning by doing, exploring the world, caring for living things, and making a difference in the world.

However, grubs are gross.

My plan was to tell her the disadvantages of the grubs going home with us and let her make the decision to set them free.

I tried it all, but girlfriend had done her research. She googled grubs on the computer at school to find out out to take care of them.

"Grubs are the larvae of Japanese White Beetles," she said. "Many people think they are a problem because they eat grass and dirt. They just like salad," she said. "And salad is good for you."

I replied, "You know, grubs are important to the circle of life too. Timon and Pumba (from the Lion King) eat grubs."

"Timon and Pumba should be vegetarians," she said.

"Mom," she said. "No matter how ugly...no matter how squirmy...a grub is a living thing that deserves love, kindness, and a place to live. These grubs were once a part of someone's family. They were lost in the world and needed to know that someone cares. That someone is me."

"What if you kill them?," says her senecal older brother.

"Then they would die knowing someone cared. I have felt like a grub sometimes," she admits. "We have been alone without Daddy but God always took care of us. I want to take care of the grubs like God takes care of us."

Oh.

And so the grubs live on...happily ever after on our patio.

Lessons From Being 7

Tyra turned 7 last week (no, her father didn't call for that birthday either) and I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her friends at school. I took a cookie cake (cupcakes are so last year) to her class and learned a lot from her first grade buddies. Because I personally believe that children can be so much smarter than adults (you should hear Tyra's theories about John McCain), I am sharing what I learned from her friends:

1. Eating too much dairy can make you act crazy.

2. Boys and girls shouldn't play soccer together. Some sports are ok, but not soccer. Boys have different priorities when playing a game.

3. You should always wear a seatbelt. If you don't think you need to wear one, check your intake of dairy. It could be clouding your mental judgement.

4. Be careful about sharing your personal information. If you must write your address down in a public place, shread the form after it's been used.

5. Slurpies or icees or slushies are the best cure for any ailment.

6. Cheerleading is a skill that everyone should know and practice daily. Positive cheering daily can help everyone's self esteem.

7. Divorce is okay. It can actually be better than okay if you have supercool uncles.

8. Be nice to your siblings if you have any. They are the only people who will help you fight bullies when your parents aren't around.

9. Choker necklaces are back and here to stay.

10. Every girl should own at least one nutcracker. They come in all sizes and have many uses.

Good Friends, Old Times, Releasing the Pain

There about one thousand different posts that I could have written about my day this past Wednesday. And finally, I decided to just tell it like it is! Wednesday afternoon, I somehow managed to condense every emotion that I have felt over the past year into a 90-minute time frame. 90 minutes of shear emotional upheaval. More than a catharsis. Raw emotion.

Raw. Emotion.

One of my tires blew out on a busy Dallas freeway at 1:30 p.m. I had been running errands and was on my way to pick Jada from kindergarten. Dismissal is at 2:00 p.m.

As I was driving, I started to smell something burning. Within seconds, the road tripping minivan was shaking, and before I knew it, I saw pieces of tire rubber roll into the next lane. Pieces of rubber from my tire.

I pulled over onto the shoulder and instantly began counting my blessings. No children were in the car with me. No accident ensued. I could make definite afterschool arrangements for Jada from my cell phone. CJ and Tyra both had afterschool activities that didn't end until 4:30 p.m.

I counted my blessings. It could have been so much worse. I called for roadside assistance. I then called Christie because someone needed to know where I was -- and then it happened. I broke down into tears. Not because of the tire, not even because of the "what if's" it had been worse. At that moment I felt that something was missing.

I missed the feeling of security that comes from knowing there was a man I could call in a situation like that who would have my back. I didn't have that. He was missing. It was at the moment that in the past year I realized I had shifted into overdrive to handle business and take care of the kids. I never once realized that I needed to take care of me...or more specifically, have the idea that someone else would take care of me. I missed having a should to cry on and a knight in shining armor to come and rescue me.

(Please keep in mind that more than likely, the ex-knight would NOT have been able to come assist me, but it was the theory of having someone that I was thinking of).

While I was waiting, 4 police cars whizzed past me on the freeway. Not one of them stopped. That made it worse. The fraternity of law enforcement officers that I used to proudly be a part of

had not time for me.

In the midst of my tears, I decided to listen to the radio. As I turned the volume up, I felt a numbing sensation in my right hand. The tingling traveled up my arm but then moved down the right side of my body.

Having had a friend who suffered a stroke 7 years ago at the age of 29, I became instantly concerned about my physical health. As my head began to hurt, the tears began to flow harder and all I could say was "Oh God! Please don't let me die today!Those children need me! Please not now, not now!" I then exclaimed, "Oh crap! I haven't finished the book yet! If I lose the ability to use my right hand, how will I finish the book?"

Yes. I can be full of drama. And actually, Tyra was at acting class when all of this was going on.

My emotional outburst lasted for the next 30 minutes. Kindergarten Jada would say I was making a pattern:

Cry, tingle, headache, pray. Cry, tingle, headache, pray. Cry, tingle, headache pray. Cry, tingle, headache, pray.

Soon after, the roadside assistance crew arrived, the tire was changed and I was in route once again to collect my children.

It was then that I realized that I did in fact have a knight in shining armor. It was okay that it was not him, because He was there. It was Him.

Something amazing happened later that evening. The kids and I met an old friend for dinner at Luby's. As we caught up on lives and our perspective on the woes of our country, the kids were entertained by a balloon artist. By the time we left the restaurant, each child had to "regular" helium balloon, and a "special" balloon shaped like some animal.

On the way home, I heard whispering in the back seat and one of the kids asked if we could stop at the park for a few minutes. As I prepared to launch into a huge "We have too much to do tonight" speech my son said, "I want to release my balloon to the world so I can get past your divorce."

Oh.

In thinking of my own need to get past the divorce (as evident from the emotional incident of only a couple of hours before) I headed to the park.

Each child said a few words, I said a prayer, we thanked the Lord for each other and our friends and family. We verbalized good wishes for their father and his fiance (surely, the 4th marriage will be a charm!) and we let the balloons go.

It was a very touching moment for us. It was poignant and powerful and everything about the moment of release made it all worthwhile. All of it.

Insomnia

Last night I couldn't sleep. It was midnight and I was as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever. When I have insomnia, there is a problem. At 36 years old, it has taken me numerous consultations with medical doctors and emotional counselors to learn this. If I can't sleep at night, I have a problem.

Here are some examples from my past:
1. I couldn't sleep the night that I had a horrible argument with my ex-husband's mistress two years ago. Yes, I have been there and lived to talk about it. And yes, I said VERY inappropriate things to her. Christie can tell you all about it. Yes, she and her sister were on three way so I could have ear witnesses.

2. I couldn't sleep the nights I found out I was pregnant, any of the three times. The outcomes were great, having three children in 3.5 years was very overwhelming. No wonder my thyroid gave out!

3. I always have insomnia if I have a crazy boss. Ummm...that would mean that I had regular insomnia from August 2005 until May 2008.

4. I couldn't sleep well last week, in light of my sweet firstborn's lying and hitting issues.

All of this brings me to last night. I couldn't sleep. I am FREAKING OUT about the state of our country. I am nervous about the banks, the mortgage industry, the government, the Dallas Independent School District, and my future. (I realize that some of you do not live in Dallas and don't understand that reference. Click here to find out more information.)

I follow blogs for a hobby. Some of my favorites relating to financial success and motherhood are: The Millionare Mommy Next Door (I am determined to become one), Single Ma's Fabulous Financials (this woman is making it happen...I love her willingness to blog about her financial issues...I am working on getting there), and The Hustle of the Sistah Ant (A single woman who overhauled her personal credit and financial issues who now has a credit score of 808! Yes, you read it right...808!)

All of my finance blogs and other recent research has given me the urgency to change the way I view life, money, and preparation for the future. This week (barring a mommy emergency that I need to blog about) I am going to write about my plans admist the turmoil.

I haven't watched any news yet today....should I brace myself for any other shockers?

We Made It Through the Start of the School Year

We made it!

Not only have I not had that crazy chest tightening feeling about the stress of school, I am also volunteering at the school so more than I could have before. I do have some observations of the new school year that I am dying to share:

1. The determination of whether or not your child is "in a good class" is based on how much you like the other parents in that class.

2. 2nd graders do not want their mommies to kiss them goodbye at school. You can walk them in sometimes, but no kisses, not ever.

3. Everyone loves a good mojito, margarita, or martini. This isn't some cryptic/ code language, it's the truth. I just want you all to know it. The may come up at the next parent meeting you attend.

4. If your kids are not enrolled in a school that they will attend for sure next year, you have already started having anxiety about where they will go next year. Take a deep breath and pray about it. It will all work out.

5. You cannot make every soccer game, every tennis lesson, every event that surfaces. You can do your best and prioritize. Everyone has conflicts all the time. Don't beat yourself up (or let your children beat you up) over it.

6. Schools that encourage children to interact with their teachers from last year are amazing. I can't tell you how many kids I know (including my own) who get to school a few minutes early so they can grab a quick hug from their previous teacher. Its' still happening, and we've been in school for a month already.

7. Breakfast clubs are back, and here to stay. (That one was a little cryptic, but it referred to my earlier post from the summer. I'll blog about it more this fall, I promise.)

8. If you have a 1st or 2nd grader, homework should NOT be a horrible existence for your family. If it is, something is wrong. This subject alone was the topic of my prayer and meditation this morning....I don't have anything else to say about it, because I haven't figured out how I am going to rectify it in our family. Bottom line though, it should not be stressful.

9. The public library is a very cool place to take kids afterschool for about an hour to chill out. My kids love it, it's free, and there are no battles about the tv.

10. Volunteering at the school gives you an excuse to be nosy. My precious firstborn who just turned 8 had a mishap where his backpack encountered another child's face yesterday. (ie, the boy made him mad and he used his backpack to hit him). Because I was there "volunteering," I got all versions of the story (my child's, the other child's...2nd graders love to tattle, my younger child's...1st graders are so nosy too, and an eyewitness...the kids' cousin also goes to school with them...she saw everything! In my words to the children, "You might as well tell me the truth...I'm up at that school so much...and I know everybody...I'LL FIND IT OUT!"

What are your thoughts on the new school year? Share! Share!

Back on the Blogosphere!

I am back! Back in Texas, back to blogging, back to using the computer regularly. Back and happy about it!

When we returned to Texas from the adventures of the greatest summer ever, I had to hit the ground running. I needed to find a job (remember, I quit the one I had last May), I needed to find a place to live (moved out and put everything in storage at the beginning of summer), and I had much needed legal business to complete (the divorce IS NOW final).

The last part of our trip was so amazing! Once we left Chicago though, I remembered how hard it was for me to have my own computer time while taking care of the three kids. (Ah...the memories of having my mother babysit while we were in Chicago).

There are a few lessons learned and trip tidbits that I plan to share, however, since the road trip has ended, our recovery has headed in a different direction. I promise to write more about that in the next coming weeks.

This is the first week of fall, and I have decided to embrace it fully. If you subscribe to the blog via email or a reader that doesn't let you see the graphics, please go to the actual site....I think it's lovely. After spending much of the month of August being sad that summer was coming to an end, I am approaching autumn as the season of earth's beauty. Keep reading, and I promise to keep blogging!

Ta Ta For Now....